It's hard to write lately because everything we learn about is really just pretty yucky. But this blog is an outlet for me, so I will update...
Three weeks ago our local caseworker screwed up our paperwork and to make a long story short everything worked out but not without tears, yelling and stress. I typically do not love confrontation but I did become a mama bear for my kid. I was so thankful all of that was behind us and we were back to just waiting and all our paperwork was updated. I really didn't expect the email we got a week later to knock us on our butts. It was a sucker punch if there ever was one!!
We received an email titled Korea Update and a letter was attached to it from our NY agency. Right away I knew it couldn't be good, I opened the letter and after reading it, sat there stunned. Basically Korea has once again changed their policies and it appears this time it is for real. The new policies includes all the things we never wanted to experience in the adoption process. I will list them:
1) We no longer get a 5 day one trip visit. We now have to have a court date and an embassy date and travel twice to Korea. Anyone adopting knows that this is standard procedure in other countries but Korea has never required this. It's one of the reasons we picked the program...How do you meet your child after waiting so long for them, only to leave them once again?!?
2.) The birth mother will be contacted after we have received a referral but right before we travel for our court date to ensure that she does still want the child to be adopted, gee, I really hope she hasn't changed her mind. If she does you do not get another referral right away although you do not have to start the wait process over again you do have to wait another few months.
3.) We have to appear in court twice, previously no court appearances were necessary.
WHAT?!? To say this news was hard to swallow would be an understatement!!! Especially because we still do not have a referral and May 21 was 17 months of waiting. I called our caseworker, Ben, from NY the next day to go over my 6,000,000 questions. He was helpful and calm. Honestly he is amazing and we love working with him. He talked through everything with me and said he was so sorry. He did suggest that to look at the positive we are able to "move" to Korea for 4 weeks rather than take two trips. This sounds crazy but it is something we are considering. To stay positive we are looking at it as an amazing opportunity to see our child's culture up close and personal and to get to know the baby a little better before we fly home (21 hr flight). We are so fortunate to have flexibility in Ron's job that this could even be an option for us. My heart aches for families who received this news and this could be the final straw for not being able to adopt. The cost of 1 round trip ticket to Korea averages 2,200$. So we are talking thousands of extra dollars to an already extremely pricey process. Who are these people that change policies at a drop of a hat, ultimately as hard as this is on all the families involved, the waiting children are who suffer the most!
In talking to our caseworker I brought up that we had been waiting over the 15 month time frame. 15 months was supposed to be the longest time we would wait. He was honest with me and said that we were the only family in the Korea program who has waited this long. If I dwell on that statement for too long a sorrow so strong comes over me I am not sure I will ever stop crying. He was at a loss as to why this was as are we. He did however send a "nudge" as he called it to SWS in Korea and just kindly let them know our wait had exceeded expectations. He said in the past this has really helped moved things along as it brings our case to their attention. This was almost 10 days ago...
We have seen a few "God" things in the last few weeks as well. Via FB we were connected to a couple who is adopting from Korea, we have not met anyone else adopting from Korea! They leave this week to meet their daughter for the first time and I am so thrilled to meet them once they come back. We have such a common goal and we have so much in common just because we are adopting. We have gotten involved in the movement STUCK and bothendsburning. The movement will open your eyes to the international adoption world and shock you to action. It was timely as our child is basically STUCK now because of politics.
While this is such a downer blog there is one song that I heard right after we received all of this news and the words just hit me. They so describe how I feel, they minister to my banged up psyche and I do know He is already there. I am going to write the lyrics at the bottom but I am asking for your fervent prayers. We have been specifically praying for a release! That our child is released and able to come home! I know so many are praying because you send letters and texts and encouraging words and so please do not stop! Thank you for your faithfulness, we need it right now!
Your Already There -Casting Crowns
From where I'm standing
Lord, it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are going to play out
In a world I can't control
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
'Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there
From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit
One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
'Cause You're already there
You're already there
