Ya know in the movie Dumb and Dumber when he just loses it? They are cold, out of money, tired and "their pets heads are falling off". Well that is kinda how I feel today. I feel like I could just lose it! It could be because I have a little cabin fever with this weather, it could be because I am supposed to be out to dinner with my husband for his birthday but instead he is driving(yes in this blizzard) to New York and won't be home until late tuesday maybe even Wednesday. Or possibly because I have had the theme song to Doc McStuffins stuck in my head for 3 days straight, or that my dog is also losing it because she is a puppy and she can't go out and run and is bugging me ALL the time but mostly I think its because on top of all of this, we have not heard any news on the adoption.
In fact, I know it's the last point that is really bugging me. So many people have been inquiring lately, it must be the new year. I feel like people are thinking , its now 2014 are you ever going to get that kid or not?!? So right now we are just waiting to hear that our EP (exit permit) has been approved. Once approved we get to be submitted to court and that's a big deal. Submitted to court means you are just waiting for a court date and a court date means you get to travel and traveling means you get to meet your kid. BUT of course each step takes 6-8 weeks. We have been waiting 7 weeks for approval....
Naturally, I contacted our caseworker this week to see if she knew anything, she has not heard anything. I looked over our paperwork as it is the beginning of the new year and I wanted to check expiration's on some of our paperwork and of course our fingerprints need to be redone by March. So I have to call the government (EEEKKK) and get the ball rolling on that. This step is so ridiculous, our fingerprints don't change!!!!! Why do I have to get my fingers scanned every 18 months, I am still me! This will be our 3rd trip to get this done. Also our home study will need to be updated by May. I was thinking that we would not need to update again because May is a ways off but our caseworker told us today that we should plan on doing it. AWESOME! All of this has just made me crabby today and angry. Angry can be good because I get a lot done when I am angry. Greyson had a friend over and they played downstairs for a few hours and I tackled Charlie's presents. He got presents from family and friends for his birthday and Christmas and it has been just too painful to sort through it and put it away until today. So I put my pent up anger at the process to use and sorted through everything, washed his clothes, assembled 3 toys, filled them with batteries, added the little happy stickers to them. (If your a parent, you know what I mean). That's done and I still feel angry.
Everywhere I looked, read or listened today there was something that I felt God was using to speak to me. I started my day reading Jesus Calling Devotional and these lines were from today:
Do not get discouraged by the fact that so many of your prayers are yet unanswered. Time is a trainer, teaching you to wait upon Me(being God), to trust Me in the dark. The more extreme your circumstances, the more likely you are to see My power and Glory at work in the situation.
Then later on FB a post from an adoption page simply said this:
You are going to want to give up....DON'T.
And I saw one of those sign/quotes that say: Keep calm and.... this one said
Keep calm and fill out the next form.
So this post was basically just a big vent session but I feel a bit less angry and tomorrow is a new day filled with His New Mercies.
