Friday, December 27, 2013

Hijacking a Blog - a post by a proud husband

Isn’t my wife awesome?  I don’t think you really know how awesome she is.  Solomon did a a pretty good job of describing her…


Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
    She is more precious than rubies.
Her husband can trust her,
    and she will greatly enrich his life.
She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.

She is clothed with strength and dignity,
    and she laughs without fear of the future.
When she speaks, her words are wise,
    and she gives instructions with kindness.
She carefully watches everything in her household
    and suffers nothing from laziness.
Her children stand and bless her.
    Her husband praises her:
“There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
    but you surpass them all!”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
    but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
Reward her for all she has done.
    Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

Excerpts from Proverbs 31 - Emphasis mine


I tried looking for a verse that was less commonly noted to describe a wife like mine, but I couldn’t find it.  These words are God-inspired, poetic and the perfect way to describe Erin.  I cannot tell you how proud I am to be married to her.  Her blog, which you all have read through laughter and tears, has made this process of adopting a little more accessible by those who haven’t been through the process and has put words to the feelings of incredible joy, frustration, hurt and then joy again of the families who have or are adopting.  Her writing is beautiful and a great way for her to vent.  I would like to thank all of you for being faithful to read it and encourage her with followup posts.  We love to sit down and review the statistics that blogspot.com provides on how many page views and unique visitors are coming to her blog.  It is AMAZING! There have been over 6000 page views!  

When I started thinking about writing this post, I thought I’d like to give some more insight into what she REALLY feels like some times, because I see her day in and day out, thinking about Charlie, the process, how it is affecting Greyson, how else we can prepare for when he comes home (read:shopping), the ups, the downs, but when I went back and read some of her posts I realized that the reason so many of you are interested in her blog is that not only is she giving updates about where we are at, she is being perfectly honest about where she is at and what she is feeling.  She is vulnerable in her posts and that is what makes her a great writer.  Side note… don’t expect any vulnerable tears from her hijacking guest blogger.  

Going into the process we agreed that things were going to be tough, it would go longer than we expected and the result would be worth it all.  We were right on all three items.  Through the challenges, ups and downs we have solidified that we are a great team.  Sometimes she is ready to lose it and I’m there to listen, other times I have given too much reason and calculation to the whole process and she has brought up the hurt and the pain of Charlie’s birth mom… reality check for me.  There have been “moments” we’ll call them, emotional, financial, practical life “moments” that we look at this process and think “what the heck were we thinking” and then we get an update a week later with just enough information to charge us back up.  Throughout the entire process the One that has proved faithful throughout every mountain top, the deepest of valleys and every day in between is our incredible God who is the one who really started this adoption with a call.  We chose to answer that call, as Erin discussed two posts ago, and cannot wait to see Him complete the work which he has called us to.  I Thessalonians 5:24, has been a foundational verse to our adoption process, an assurance that we cannot work this out, but instead “Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.”  

We are so excited to be hopefully closing in on the time when Charlie finally comes home to us, when Grey gets the brother he wants and needs; when “He brings it to pass.”
Thanks for riding along, being an encouragement and for reading my fantabulous wife’s blog. 


Ron 

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Sorrow and Joy

I like to set goals, I like to get things crossed off list's and I like to see things come to pass. Back in August when we received our referral, after the initial elation, I started to calculate how far away his birthday was. At that point he was just 8 months, although a far,far stretch I hoped to be able to reach the goal of at least meeting him by his first birthday. When we started the process (Nov 2013 marked 3 years) I said over and over that I wanted the baby home by his first birthday. You miss so many "firsts" when adopting internationally and my goal was to have them home so I would not miss that milestone.

It became more apparent as time went on and the process changed and morphed into something so different then what it was when we started that having the baby home by the first birthday was unlikely. But when we received the referral I still clung to the possibility since we had 4months to work with that it could happen. By the end of September I knew it wouldn't. Today was my little boy's first birthday, I type with tears streaming down my cheeks. I really, really wanted to meet that goal, to cross it off my list and to see it come to pass. It did not.

I have been a bit of a mess since the beginning of this week, in reality since the start of December I have been emotional. It's not like I didn't know in Oct or Nov that he wasn't going to be home but when December hit, the month of his birth, I took it hard. I have kept myself very busy this week, only broke down maybe once a day and even this morning when I woke up, I thought I might make it without too many tears...WRONG. Ron and I prayed this morning before he left for work and it was then, when I started to pray that the tears came and have been coming off and on all day.

I don't really know who I am crying harder for, myself or for his birth mother. One year ago today she gave birth to a beautiful,healthy son. While I'm sure the baby weight has been lost, the stretch marks have begun to fade and her stomach is once again flat the scars she carries in her heart were torn open again today. I have no idea the pain she goes through, after all I will be the one that gets to hold him soon and spend my life watching him grow and flourish.  I think of her often and especially today I cry for her.

I got a card today and it said :  

There's no quick way through life's crummy stuff. It takes however long it takes. But there are friends who'll muddle through with us and laughter to help us forget for a while. And sometimes a little grace shows up where we least expect it.

We received some of that grace today. It came in the form of numerous text and calls form friends and family to wish my boy a Happy Birthday. It came in the flowers sent from Ron's parents as they are out of town, letting us know they were thinking of us and him. It came from a friend stopping by with a gift for our son, and from family gathering around us tonight for dinner and to sing him happy birthday, open some presents and eat some cake.

Although there is sadness for the separation that exists, there is also joy in the celebration of his life. There is joy in the fact that soon we will meet him and then not long after we will bring him home. There is joy that half way across the world my ONE year old sleeps safely and happily with generous and kind people that are taking good care of him. But mostly there is joy in Jesus who extends His Grace day by day, hour by hour and minute by minute if I need it.

I so wish I could have held my boy as we sang Happy Birthday tonight but I have Hope that soon my goal will be reached!

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Charlie
Happy Birthday to you!!