Sunday, March 23, 2014

Our Current State of Mind

It's been two days since we found out the news regarding our adoption, so how are we doing?? I have giggled, probably inappropriately, at times a few Things About Regarding the IRONY of the situation. First, When we started there was the Adoption About your mental State rules. For example, you were actually Not Allowed to be on any anti-depressant Allowed to be nor meds you were seeing a Therapist for mental problems or phycologist. would be Considered The Only exception was that in the case of "baby blues" for Mothers in relation to post pardon depression. As of Four days ago we are now Required to be analyzed. Okay, I understand that being tested for mental stability is being treated but you can See Different than the IRONY. Also, to be truthful Totally 3 1/2 years ago I Felt balanced Process When we started this, and now, well I feel Very "unbalanced" Naturally so now is the time I am told I have to be tested ... I really Hope I Pass! I am Not trying to make light of the situation, a terrible tragedy occurred in Motion to set These new regulations but I am beyond frustrated about it!

Since I am Talking About My mindset from the difference in up until a few years ago TODAY, I Must Bring up My faith. So many people post How About My faith is strong, that they could Never do What we are doing, they admire Me for my faith and so on ... First, since the beginning I have trusted my heavenly Father but the way and depth I have learned to trust Him has changed. 

My life is pretty Easy, truthfully, I have had some issues with My health but other than that (and those are minimal in Comparison to some) I Live a really, really nice life! It has always been that Way Not growing up and I My parents watched Trust God for Things, Big Things and while we thought He did not always answer the Way, he always provided. I learned from God's Word is that an Early age THE Way, THE truth and THE light. Throughout My life I have seen the evidence and character of God. I have felt Him and experienced His goodness. I believe these instances are what helped me (us) take the leap of faith to actually just start the process. We did not have the means to even begin the process when we did and yet we have lacked for nothing throughout the entire process. I have learned about patience and deep trust in God through this adoption. I have seen my mind and thoughts change to what I believe now are more aligned to His thoughts. I have seen My wishes and Dreams Dreams Appear blown away and Completely new. I guess I am saying all of this again Because I saw TODAY WHERE Me My Jesus I was meet and reach out and touch Me. Remind Me and What He was He who promised to do.

We went to church today, it's Sunday so that seems ordinary in itself but it is how we "happened" to attend this church today and what was said to us while we were there that is so amazing. Seoul is so Big, I can not really describe it. There are no towns or Communities Buildings and people just everywhere. Within each Building Building and within another that is anywhere from 5-20 is Different Businesses or resturants. Place another within The Volume of places and people in a Square Mile is Mind blowing. Seoul is the Second Largest City in the World, it makes New York look Small, Honestly I have been to both and can say that there is simply no Comparison. So you understand, how would we find a church in Seoul? 
RON has a coworker and his son travels all over the World for his job. He lived in Seoul for a few months here a few times a year and travels. He and his wife have adopted a daughter from here and so he has gotten to know some people. Well, he flew in to Seoul yesterday and through his father learned that we would be here, Ron had talked with him on the phone before we left to get some ideas on sites etc. He suggested that we meet while we were both here. It just happens that we both have days Free U.S. TODAY and so he Invited to Church with him. Personally, I was so excited to go to Church in another country, to worship with believers in another Part of the World. I had no idea the news we would receive about the adoption while we were here in Korea and how much I would need to go to church and my goodness did we need it!
So, we met him off a subway station and he walked with us and directed us to turn down a side street and at the end of the street was this building called Grace Chapel. Churches in Korea don't look like typical churches back home. They are just another building amist thousands and I would have never known this was a church by just passing by, so I am glad to have had directions. In we went and it was so nice to hear English and see other westerners!! It's amazing how much you miss the regularity of "your people" especially when your going through difficulties. The service was great and it just happened that we had to sit in the front row of this church that probably had about 400 ppl at it. After the praise and worship (to which I couldn't keep from crying) they have you break off into small groups to share a request and pray for one another, our poor group, they didn't know the emotional wreck that was about to hit them. We went around the circle and before I could even open my mouth I started crying, Ron took over and explained our situation (short version). One little, tiny Asian girl says "Oh that must be why" and we all just turned to look at her and she went on to tell our group that last night she could not sleep so she went on youtube and somehow got on watching stories about adoption and has been thinking about adoption all day. She admitted to thinking that it was so random to have been thinking out adoption but once she heard our request she knew she was to pray for us. This little thing turned into this powerhouse, laid her hands on us and just prayed a beautiful prayer over us. Aaaaand more crying, have I mentioned I hate to cry in front of people?!? Turns out she is visiting her family here but has been living in Australia for a while but just felt like she should come to this church today. It gets even crazier. The pastor of the church comes over after his message, which was great, and asks if this was our fist time here and why we were in Korea, after going through our story again he says "Well, I was praying up there and looking an at you two and I just felt like I should tell you that God told me you both have the gift of discernment and that you will know when to speak out in truth "so for whatever that is worth, I hope it means something to you. Who knows what that means but our agency is telling us that they will let us know if they want us to talk to the judge and the letter that they are writing for us may be an open door to let God speak through us in the court.

I don't believe in coincidences when it come to the adoption. It's all God! I hope for people on the fence about believing in God or for those who don't believe in him at all that come across this blog that you don't take lightly our adoption process. God is Real and He is active in this world!! He is all around, waiting for you to encounter Him. We just couldn't get over how we ended being prayed for by a girl who lives in Australia and spoken into by a pastor from Korea! All that being said I go back to my opening question, how are we doing? We are good. 

We have decided that there will be good that comes out of this situation, God tells us He will make good out of bad. We have decided to choose Joy, we have picked Jesus and His mindset.We really, really are still praying for a Miracle and exemption by the Judge but if that is Not God's Will Humble ourselves and then we Submit to His plan. I Don ' T Come back and want to wait longer to Get My son, I'm crying (Shocking) Because now as I type this blog is waiting longer to do the Very Last thing I want out of His Will be EXCEPT. If we have to wait longer and come back then we will and I will be sad about it but I will trust Jesus. 

Romans 8:26 -28
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought pray for, but the Spirit intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts know the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.



Thank you all for your kind words and prayers, please keep them coming. We can feel them and they help.

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