Will I ever dare open another email???

I realize it almost March and it's been a while since I've written but I haven't had much to say (shocking I know).  I picked the title of this post because every month we receive updates from our agency regarding the Korean program and for the first year that was great. Since beginning the second year and particularly the last six months I can honestly say I dread seeing new mail that comes from the agency with an update. Every email has been an update with another change for the program that always adds more time to the process. Yesterday was no different.

Now I am fully aware that everyone warned us of the ups and downs. People have been positive in their encouragement and sincere in the apologies of yet another negative update. We were told to expect some changes to come to the program, we were told to be patient, we were told blah blah blah!!!  Our Agency is not to blame and they have done a great job of communicating and informing us as best as possible but what I was not prepared for was the complete and total, 100% change in the adoption process in Korea while we were smack dab in the middle of adopting!!! Let me just review all the changes. 

March 14 will be 2 years in the program and currently we have been waiting for a referral for 14 months. When we applied to adopt the timeline for adoption looked like this.

- 6-9 months wait for referral, upon acceptance of referral and paperwork filled out wait to travel  was 1-3 months.

- average age of child coming home was 11-13 months

- total number of days spent in Korea was 5.

- no court appearances necessary.

- costs had not changes in several years for country fee

Since the change in government roles in the adoption process and the fact that Korea will ultimately 

close there program for international adoption down in the next 5-10 years, this is what our timeline has changed to in the last six months

- 12-15 month wait for referral 

- upon acceptance of referral and paperwork completed average wait to travel is now 6-9months

- Korea country fee increased 2,000$ (we did not have to pay this based on how far along we were in the process)

- age of child at time of going home 18-24 months

- new time period of days spent in Korea 2-3 WEEKS!

- court appointment now necessary in Korea

The last two points we found out about yesterday after we received another update email, hence the reason I don't dare open any more emails! With every change I have cried and this time was no different. 2-3 weeks in Korea!?! It's just getting to the point where I don't really know what to think about it all anymore.

I was in need of some type of encouragement and I heard on WCSG a snippet of the end of a talk and they were saying that whatever the "thing" was in your life that was getting to you, handle it with this verse:  

                  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with                thanksgiving present your request to God.     Phil 4:6

He went on to say that God is not anxious about your biggest problem because he has already handled it, but he reminded us  to talk to God. He wants you to petition Him, He wants you to seek 

out His advice. He longs for involvement in your life.  I am renewing my mind on this verse and although this is a downer post I know and remember all of the amazingly good things that God has done and will continue to do but today at this moment I'm so sick of it! This made me think of spiritual forefathers and the things they believed in Faith.  So I will end on this verse and hope to have the courage to open next Month's email.

Romans 4:20 -21 Yet he (Abraham) did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.