Finally a Resolve...getting back to myself

I can be a skeptic when it comes to spiritual attacks and I think that sometimes people give the devil WAY TOO much credit for their problems. I also think that sometimes we do not discern true spiritual attacks. Since deciding to be obedient to God and start this adoption journey, I have had one health problem after another come at me. All of it in direct connection to my reproductive system. I cannot let myself get pregnant right now, we signed paperwork and contracts that we would not try for another baby while adopting. I have been told by my OB-GYN that getting pregnant would be the best thing for my body right now, due to my endometriosis. I have had surgery and been very proactive in trying to get my body to work properly. I do not understand nor can explain why now, the time when we are adopting, everything in my body has gone haywire except to say that to me this seems like a spiritual attack. I can say that from what I have learned growing up is that when you are "under attack" from the devil it typically mean you are doing what God has called you to do. (although not always).

The last few weeks and truly if I'm honest with myself the last few months have been hard on my health and my psyche. I was put on a medication almost a year ago, to help with my endometriosis The medication was a shot and I received an injection every 3 months. It was a very strong med and there were numerous side effects.

The first few months were okay but then this past August, my world in a sense flipped upside down. It started soon after my birthday with extreme dizziness( to the point of me falling over) and terrible headaches. Long story short I went to the doctor, was prescribed some meds that didn't really help and was given what now looks like a wrong diagnosis. My blood tests came back normal and so I saw a chiropractor who really relieved some tension and the headaches got better.(I am still seeing the chiro and am now a true believer in them!)Unfortunately my other symptoms persisted, got weirder and I became convinced something serious was wrong. After another evaluation a CT and MRI were ordered.They were testing me for a possible tumor or more likely MS! All tests came back normal. To which I Praise the Lord and had a few good cries about. Thank you Jesus!!!

 I was sent to another specialist and had more blood work and today received really good news. My hormones are completely out of whack because of the medication I was put on almost a year ago. After going off that medication my body was suppose to return to normal but it did not and as a result my hormones are messed up. The Physician Assistant I saw today said my levels were very low especially for my age, in fact they were so low that the results came back at 0.01. This reading means that I have almost no estrogen or progesterone in my body. I'm thrilled to hear this because all of the crazy symptoms I have been having correlate to extreme estrogen loss. I am now on a plan to have replacement (all natural) therapy to get my body to a natural state.

The last few weeks while waiting for results have been tough, so many things run through your mind. I was so scared that this was going to be something really life changing. I know many people go through really bad things and it is hard if not impossible to let your imagination run wild. How blessed we are to have a heavenly Father that walks right along with us no matter the outcome of the tests, He is always there.

I guess I am writing this post mainly because I so HAPPY to be healthy and with a plan to get myself back on track but also as an encouragement to others who are doing as God called them and it's not going how they thought it would. I can say that during alot of this I have spent time in the Word, listening to sermons and praying. Edifying my Spirit! It doesn't stop your  mind but it does remind you to to get it under control. We do need to be aware of the spiritual realm and that there is a very present enemy who seeks to kill, steal and destroy but I will just end with this.

                                                                   Our God is Greater
                                                                   Our God is Stronger
                                                                   Our God is Higher than any other
                                                                   And if our God is for us, who can be against us

Confession

Pray :entreat;implore : to address God with with adoration,CONFESSION,supplication or thanksgiving

A few weeks ago in church  we talked about confession and were taught that it means : To say the Same Thing.  Now when I think of the word Confession I usually think of it in a negative way. Someone needs to confess their sins or someone confessed something they did. But that word can be used in the opposite manner as well. If we confess the Promises of Jesus, His Word  or His will, He is faithful to bring it about to completion(according to His timing). This is a very positive confession!

To say the same thing.... So we know without a doubt that God called us to adopt and that he has a very specific child in mind for us. We pray for her as a couple at least twice a week and she is on my mind all the time so I am praying for her throughout the day, everyday. We are doing what the scriptures tell us to and how they tell us to:

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let you request be made known to God.                                                                         Phil 4:6

The Lord is far from the wicked but he hears the prayers of the righteous.      Prov 15:29

... The effective prayer of the righteous man can accomplish much.                James 5:16

Heed the sound of my cry for help, my King and my God, For to You I pray. In the morning, O Lord You will hear my voice; In the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch.   Ps 5:2-3


I bring this up because I am so blessed and truly speechless at the all the people who are praying "saying the same thing the word says" about our adoption. I am so thankful for those of you who are praying for our child and thinking about her. A few weeks ago I  had 3 separate people in one week tell me that our adoption/child had been on their heart and they wanted me to know they were thinking and praying for us. Then a week or two later a friend and I were talking and she said, well we are praying for you in regards to your adoption. This week someone who I do not know that well  wanted to let us know that we were on his thoughts and he was praying for us about the adoption. I know of people in other states who are praying for us. I know of  a couple in another country lifting us in their prayers. It is AMAZING!  God is so faithful!

I am so encouraged as we wait and hope that others find encouragement in the power of prayer as well. It is such an awesome tool that we have to communicate with our Loving Father!  I can't wait to show you all pictures of  our child  and see the prayers come to fruition!

Again thank you all so much for your faithful prayers for our family!

Good?Bad?...Change

We run into people all the time and the question everyone always asks is "How's the adoption going." It is so nice of people to ask and I appreciate their interest but basically the answer I give is...LONG!

We just got another update with some news that for some in the process is bad and for some it is good and for some it is indifferent. Thankfully for us, for now, it is indifferent. Let me explain.

The ministry of defense of Korea used to be the one to decide and send out travel visa's for orphans that were being adopted.  Korea has changed it's law and the court system now handles those proceedings. Sorta of scary when you think of how long court proceedings can take and how much work is involved. Since this is a new way of handling things our agency has told us to expect some delays.

Thankfully the people who have not yet received their referrals (info on a child, we fall into this category) will hopefully not see alot of changes except some added paperwork. Unfortunately anyone from our agency who did receive a referral after July 16 will not get to travel before January 2013. I can't imagine what those families are going through! Waiting that long to travel is so disappointing, to say the least. The reason for the delay is because with the new law passing and the courts running things the government has to figure out a system of how to operate. They do not/can not send out travel visa's until everything is put into place. Our agency tells us they hope to have a system up and running after the first of the year.

This really does not change our situation for the time being because we are not expected to get a referral until sometime between December - March. What we don't know is if after we get our referral the wait time to get our travel visa's will increase(Our agency is warning us that it most likely will).So for now all we can do it WAIT, which we are becoming experts at during this process.

So there is my true answer on how the process is going...Long with a chance of even longer. Still I try not to get too upset as I know this will not help anything. When our referral comes it comes and when we travel we travel. Thank you for your thoughtfulness in keeping our family in your thoughts and prayers.

I will bring Praise

 A few weeks ago we were visiting a church that had a special band playing for their service. The band was phenomenal and they sang a song that I had not heard in a very long time but that I have always loved.

As I listened to the band sing, I really concentrated on the words and oh how they spoke to me. You could apply these words to so many area's of life but of course I have really applied them to the adoption. When I think about the beginning and how we were unsure about how we would be able to afford the adoption, when we had to change our paperwork and when we were informed that the wait would be even longer. The "desert"  as the song says but then it goes on to talk about the harvest. What a great harvest we have coming...A Child! I truly love how the song says that no matter what, we should Bring Praise, for our God is the God who supplies ________ (you fill in the blank) whatever it is you need for the moment and will continue to provide through the whole journey. It also talks about once you've come through the "desert" make sure you sow a seed for someone else. If you get a chance find it, listen to it and let the words minister to you. Here are the words to the song:


This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides


And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames


And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here


And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand


All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship


This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

Longer Still...

I really cant believe that we are already into July, summer is always so fast! As fast as summer is going I feel like our adoption process is so slow. A few weeks ago we received our monthly email from our agency and we were told that they wait process for a referral is now 15 months rather than 12-15 months. We also found out that once we do receive the referral and accept the wait time to travel will no longer be 5 weeks to 3 months but more like 5-6 months. Not gonna lie, I cried. I was just thinking about how much longer we are going to have to wait. I could get pregnant and have a 3- 4 month old baby and we would just be getting to travel to get our little one from Korea. WOW!! Adding on another 6-8 months just stinks!!!

I am pretty bummed for Greyson as well. He is turning 4 in a few months and realistically he will 5 before he gets a sibling. He could really use a playmate. The other day in the car he asked where "that baby" was. I asked him what baby and he said the one from Korea, "cause she is taking a long time to get here." I couldn't agree more! He melts my heart and I am so thankful for him. It's been a rough few weeks for me as I can't get my little one who lives around the world out of my mind. I am asking that you pray for us and for our baby.

 Ron keeps extremely busy at work, we are planning on taking a mini vacation to Kalamazoo to the zoo, I am growing a garden and we spend lots of time at the lake.For now we will continue to live life and enjoy our little boy So glad I serve a Faithful God who cares for my family and has a good plan in mind.  He is working all things out according to His Loving Kindness!

                                                  Greyson and I were in a wedding in June

                                                                    Cutest Ring Bearer

                                                                            Ron and I

                                                                Fourth of July Parade

                                                             Happy Birthday America

                                                                               Our Family

Red and Yellow, Black and White, They are Precious in His sight

I have been trying to educate myself on biological anthropology. I know big words but once you break it down and study a few things out, it is quite fascinating! I just think God and all his creative power is so amazing. To expound I basically just wanted to understand why we look the way we do. I did not do a massive search and I am sure that I only hit the tip of the iceberg but I did study it out a bit and here is some of what I discovered.

First lets start with some definitions:

Create: To bring  into existence; To produce through imaginative skill

Biological Anthropology: Genetic adaption of human beings to different environmental conditions. Physical adaptions in human beings are seen in a response to extreme cold, humid heat, desert condition and high altitudes.

Race: A local geographic or global human population distinguished as a distinct group by genetically transmitted physical characteristics

Different: Partly or totally unlike in nature, form or quality

Similar : Having characteristics in common

OK so when you look at those definitions you can probably start to see where I am headed. I was very curious as to why people, Korean people, in particular have the facial structures that they do. I wondered so I would be able to explain it to my children some day. We have already begun to prepare and explain to Greyson that his sibling will not look exactly how we look because they are from another part of the world. But why?

I looked up the shaped of Asian eyes and learned that the "fold" of skin that makes the appearance of their eyes the way they are is called an epicarthal fold. The reason this fold is unique to the Asian culture is that many Asians are descendants of the Mongolian people. Mongolia is a harsh land with extreme temperatures. The fold of the Asian eye is for protection from snow, as well as the flatter features. I couldn't imagine having to live in extremely cold areas with my very pointy nose, the thing would probably fall off!  Speaking of my nose the reason it is so long and pointy is because of my descendants. I need that long nose to warm up the air before it hits my body. So that being said we can explain why some African Americans have larger, flatter noses. They are from a region of the world that is hot and dry. Larger nostrils give the opportunity to get more oxygen into the nose at a faster pace so when it reaches the body it is still cool, same reason for their dark skin, you cant live under the desert sun and have fair skin. I just found all of these things very interesting. Mainly I was once again so impressed by God. What a creative genius!
He created the world and he created people in the world to be able to not only live in their environment  but to thrive. The specific characteristics of peoples, skin, hair, and facial structures are all for survival and protection in the world He made. These answers are basic but I think very important, with these basic scientific answers we can minimize racism and ignorance. We can also give glory to God for the way he created us which no matter how you look is in His image. He created us to look differently on the outside but to have similarities as well. We all have two ears and eyes, a nose and a mouth. We have hearts that beat to bring us life and we have legs to take us where we want to go. Same and different but we all the exact same purpose in life, Bring Him Glory! Thank you Jesus for creating so many different and beautiful people: Here are some pics of His handiwork

Happy Mothers Day

Naturally today is the day to reflect on mothers and I was thinking about how I wanted to blog about it and that I didn't know where to start. I thought about how much I just love my son so I looked up the word love in the dictionary and I really liked two of the definitions:

1. The benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due them to God

2. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection,as for a child or parent.

I just think it is amazing how the two go hand in hand, Without Jesus we would not know how to love and because of Jesus we can show love because He first loved us. I am just so thankful for the Bible and that it is filled with stories, examples and  practical advice on how to love and how to be a good mom.

Today I thought about my mom and all the wonderful things she did for me and the fun memories I hold dear, I thought about the mom that I am and the mom that I want to be. I thought about all the brand new moms who are just starting out and the moms who have adult children and all the wisdom they have to share. Single Moms who have given everything for their kids and those who wished they had been better moms. And of course in this journey I thought about birth moms who loved enough to give their child to another.

I really thought about birth moms today, and mothers who adopt. Someone I know who had adopted a child and found out that we were starting the adoption process said this to me "Isn't it amazing that God picked you and is entrusting you with another womens child, that out of one of that womens biggest heartaches will be one of your greatest joys"...WOW! Yes it is amazing!
As part of our dossier we had to write a letter to the birthparents and I used the last part of that quote in my letter. I thanked my child's birth mom for giving me her child and promised to love them. That is why I am so thankful for the Bible and for the 24hr access I have to God. Without it I know I would not be able to do the job of mother. I love that through His grace I can be an example of love to my children. I am so thankful that God created women with His nurturing personality.

Today I hope you thanked your mom for who she is what what she has done for you (regardless of "perfection"). I pray that you would use the tools freely offered by God to help you as you mother your children and that the Holy Spirit would be your guide.  Happy Mothers Day!